Have you ever felt that someone just wasn’t hearing you? It could have been your boss, your colleague, your prospective client, or even a friend.

Or, have you ever caught yourself not hearing someone else, simply waiting for your turn to respond or to say something with little regard for what someone has said to you? You know what I’m talking about when you find yourself and those around you talking AT each other instead of TO each other.

If you’ve answered YES to either of these questions and wondered why you weren’t getting the result you wanted, then this article is for you!

I remember a situation where an acquaintance and I blatantly ignored what we said to each other. I asked a question or said something to her and she responded with something that was completely unrelated to what I said. It was the strangest thing to witness and an even more awkward and frustrating situation to be in.

So what can you do when you find yourself in a similar scenario?

Here’s the tool you need to get yourself heard and get what you want from an interaction:

Communicate in other people’s values!

Everyone has a set of values, a hierarchy of what is important to them. We are fiercely loyal to our values, they are unique to us and they influence how we see the world and how we interact with the world around us.

When we engage and interact, we can choose to place importance on our values, on what is important to us, or we can choose to focus on the other person’s values, what is important to them and truly listen to understand, not simply to respond.

There is a global need to be heard. When you truly hear someone and listen to what’s important to them and then craft your message in order to convey it in a way that speaks to their values, you will find that your communication is much more effective. And the side effect of this is that you get what you want.

Effective communication plays such an integral roles in every aspect of our lives. It allows us to build relationships, determines the success of our endeavours and affects the way others perceive us. It just so happens that effective communication is a characteristic that all successful people share and also happens to be a distinguishing trait of great leaders.

To truly, honestly and authentically be curious about another person’s values is to care about them. And when we care about people, the law of reciprocity dictates that they care about us back. But it starts with us.

No one cares about what you know until they know how much you care. This nugget is gold to remember in any interaction. The more you remember this and implement it in your interactions, the more you will be rewarded.

Love & light