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Letting go of the fear in “No”

I have an exciting, new business that is coming to life more and more each day- it’s called SmartStewardess.com. It’s an exclusive coaching business geared towards tenacious stewardesses who work, live and play on luxury yachts around the world, have ambition and would love to have more enjoyment and fulfilment from their jobs and life.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been based in the heart of Fort Lauderdale, well known as one of the main yachting hubs on the east coast of the USA.

While I was knee-deep in the back-end for this online business (learning how to do basic coding and all!), I had the realisation once again that the true power of business is building relationships offline, as well as online.

With this fresh on my mind, I found myself walking door to door introducing my business to people in the industry. Although I’ve been in sales for over 10 years, I didn’t anticipate the butterflies that were swirling around in my stomach when sharing something that is very close to my heart.

This unexpected feeling made me think and realise that ever since we’re very young we’re often conditioned to do things that make people like us. For example, I’ve been told to not cry or throw tantrums because that makes people feel uneasy. I was always told to be a good, nice girl but the result of that makes us not ever want to hear the word ‘no’.

The fear of the word ‘no’ is much stronger than the reality of it. Just from my recent personal experience, the people whom I approached were very open and receptive to my business. It was that fear of ‘no’ that was creating the feeling in the pit of my stomach, not the act of sales or selling my services.

The more I went from door to door, the less anxious I felt. The reality is that I had let go of my ‘no’ muscle in the recent year due to my circumstances. I had gotten so used to being told ‘yes’ in my life and career.

Sales is so frikken difficult because we’re conditioned to only expect and hear ‘yes’ to our ideas, to our value, to ourselves. When we hear ‘no’ it does not feel natural because we’ve never conditioned our minds to hear the word ‘no’.

What does it take to not have that anxious feeling about sales and putting ourselves out there?
Unfortunately, there’s no magic pill. If there were, I’d be selling it!

The more people I met and shared with them something that is truly important and valuable to me, the more my ‘no’ muscle was growing stronger. The more resilient my ‘no’ muscle became the more my internal dialogue changed to ‘So what if the next person says ‘no’ to me? So many others have said yes to it.’

I found the best way to let go of the fear is to train and condition the ‘no’ muscle. And there’s only one way to get it stronger. That is to go through all the difficult emotions and conversations. To just do it. Despite the butterflies, pit-of-the-stomach-feeling and all the possible rejection in the world.

What is the most difficult thing about sales for you? And how do you get through it?

Love hearing from you,

A xx

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